How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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