the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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