I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she smelled like a LAN party
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
