she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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