my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
