How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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