You're a womanizer and a bitch.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
