he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
