Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize