You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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