there's paper in my vomit.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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