There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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