This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize