Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
