so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
