google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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