Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
