What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
