Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
