I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
