I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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