In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Be still, my beating vagina.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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