It's Friday. Sex?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize