At least make sure they are 18
Why
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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