bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize