does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm bleeding and have questions
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
