You made me cry and you don't even care
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
