I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
