I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
