We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just blew my weed a kiss
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
