Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He? As in you personified your dick?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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