Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
