We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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