its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
