So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
