Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I have fence marks all over my body
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
