i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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