Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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