there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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