I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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