thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yo dont text me then not text me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
