i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize