She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
