I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
