Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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