i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
