And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
