Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
