so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
