Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
