We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
