There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
