so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
