He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
