theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
