Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
