The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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