So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
