Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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