i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
