Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
